I have a head cold that I can't get away from.
Sometimes I can hide in a good book, throw myself into a project
or escape into a good movie. Nope. None of those worked last night.
“The art of medicine consists in amusing the
patient while Nature affects the cure.”
Up anyway at 3 AM, I decided to listen to the Super 14 Rugby Final, the Waikato Chiefs taking on the Bulls in South Africa. Nah. That was no good either as the Bulls ran away with the game, the Chiefs leaving gaps too big for Habana & Co. to ignore. Add to that the enormous trip and the high altitudes and I'd think the Chiefs were wishing the Hurricanes had won the week before.
Not a fair comment, that. This was the Chiefs first time to the final and they deserved that play-off spot. However things went last night, they still came in second in the standings for the entire season and deserve respect for that. I didn't see the game, only listened to it on the radio, but I'd say they deserved respect for staying on the field to the end. Musta been terrible as they saw the points adding up, 61-17 to the Bulls.
How do you process defeat, loss, such pervasive frustration that you just wanna hide? How do we cope with financial loss, job loss, a failed relationship, a project gone wrong?
I've got my things packed, my favorite pillow
Got my sleeping bag, climb out the window
All the pictures and pain, I've left behind
All the freedom and fame, I've gotta find
Running away is an option some take. I hope the Chiefs look at all the victories of the season that took them to this recent showdown. I just wish the sweetness of those victories could linger in their mouths rather than this defeat, but that's the way it is. You play until there's only two left and then only one can win. I hope most of them will look toward next season, that alcohol will not dull their pain, and that those who are preparing for the All Blacks tours will develop the character needed for the next campaign.
I hope all of those who are facing career changes because of an economy with no room for flab will develop that same character, that they will not lose themselves in destructive vices and that they'll look forward, remembering their success and anticipating the good they can shape out of their past.
Upskilling mid-life is not easy, but many are finding the need to do so. University and other tertiary programmes are finding enrollment up. Indiana University topped 100,000 students across its eight campuses. Many other universities worldwide are reporting 5-10% increase in student numbers and in credit hours taken.
Yates and Masten in Fostering the future: Resilience theory and the practice of positive psychology (2004, p. 525) have a table of assets and protective factors that promote positive development for young people including positive sibling relationships, connections to competent and caring adult models, a positive view of self, good problem-solving skills, and appealing personality.
Their view of resilience as ordinary magic has led them to suggest that interventions for increasing resiliency focus not only on ameliorating problems but also on promoting competencies, enhancing assets, and developing protective resources.
Canadian psychologist Albert Bandura says, “We find that people's beliefs about their efficacy affect the sorts of choices they make in very significant ways. In particular, it affects their levels of motivation and perseverance in the face of obstacles. Most success requires persistent effort, so low self-efficacy becomes a self-limiting process. In order to succeed, people need a sense of self-efficacy, strung together with resilience to meet the inevitable obstacles and inequities of life.”
I'm not backing myself much at all today, head cold and all. I'll just lie low and survive this malady which receives so little sympathy in the grand scheme of things.
The doctor tells the patient he has very bad flu.
The patient says he wants a second opinion.
The doctor says, ”OK, you’re ugly too”.