Swine Flu! Tissue?

from Finlay Macdonald of The Sunday Star Times

IN MY neck of the woods, signs of the impending "aporkalypse" included the local pharmacies selling out of hygienic hand wipes the day after news of the "swine flu" broke. Call me defeatist, but I'm sceptical about our ability to fight off a raging global pandemic armed only with fancy tissues and instructions on what to do with your hands if you feel a sneeze coming on.

Still, everyone wants to be seen to be doing their bit. My daughter's primary school sent home notices about the importance of personal hygiene in containing any outbreaks, and one business I know of is helpfully advising staff "to take sensible precautions to avoid spreading infection. These would include using tissues in the event of coughing or sneezing and following this with hand washing".

Given these people already work in a crowded and under-ventilated office environment that couldn't be more conducive to incubating whatever diseases are lurking in their various human hosts, this is a little like asking a horse to close the stable door after it's bolted. Or a pig to shut the sty, as the case may be.

It all reminds me a bit of those British government brochures during the Cold War advising citizens to stack books against windows in case of a Russian nuclear strike. As a response to crisis, it's up there with building a national cycle way to combat recession. Viral Armageddon looms, we remind each other to cover our noses.

Well, people die in surprisingly large numbers from influenza all the time. This virus seems to have picked on Mexicans for some reason, while others with the same infection make a full recovery. Perhaps with memories of the stalled Sars pandemic still relatively fresh, we're all a bit less inclined to panic.

Or maybe this is just a symptom of that peculiar Kiwi habit of confusing the common cold with "the flu". Someone is said to "have the flu" when, in reality, they're exhibiting nothing more life-threatening than a runny nose and a sore throat.

I guess it sounds better as an excuse to take the day off school or work.

Read the rest of the column . . . .

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