Do you have heaps of emotional energy, so much that you can afford to waste some on people you don't even like? I don't. I've decided to be very careful about wasting emotional energy.
Through my years in life and ministry, I've met people who seemed to suck the joy and energy out of meetings, ideas, new initiatives, teams or organisations. Such people are in our families, our teams or amongst our clients. Such is life. We can call them many things. I've heard them called EGR people: Extra Grace Required.
We must have a variety of people around us to complement each other as to perspectives, potential obstacles or loopholes, gifts, talents and abilities. We don't all have to be optimists or sunbeams, but there's a difference between helping the team see weaknesses in plans and squashing those plans, and the planners. There's a difference between being careful and being critical, between being deliberate and being demeaning.
I try to choose well when processing encounters with the few people who really aggravate me. I try to think generously so as to arrive at the point of giving them the benefit of the doubt.
When people are insecure they tend to put other people down to build themselves up. When people are small, they try to make themselves bigger, whether that is by inflating their own importance or by demeaning others or by grabbing power or claiming territory.
Why are they insecure? I don't know and don't want to plumb the depths to discover that, but I must say that it is ultimately because there is a distortion of their view of themselves, and therefore of others, including me.
How is my view of myself distorted, or how is it accurate and healthy? If I am healthy in my identity, my value and my place in the grand scheme of things, I can be resilient when dealing with difficult energy sappers. If my view of myself is distorted I can be vulnerable or vicious, but probably not balanced and reasonable.
What do you do with these sort of people? How do you overcome, respond or maintain your principles, or your cool, in the face of such energy sappers?
Through my years in life and ministry, I've met people who seemed to suck the joy and energy out of meetings, ideas, new initiatives, teams or organisations. Such people are in our families, our teams or amongst our clients. Such is life. We can call them many things. I've heard them called EGR people: Extra Grace Required.
We must have a variety of people around us to complement each other as to perspectives, potential obstacles or loopholes, gifts, talents and abilities. We don't all have to be optimists or sunbeams, but there's a difference between helping the team see weaknesses in plans and squashing those plans, and the planners. There's a difference between being careful and being critical, between being deliberate and being demeaning.
I try to choose well when processing encounters with the few people who really aggravate me. I try to think generously so as to arrive at the point of giving them the benefit of the doubt.
When people are insecure they tend to put other people down to build themselves up. When people are small, they try to make themselves bigger, whether that is by inflating their own importance or by demeaning others or by grabbing power or claiming territory.
Why are they insecure? I don't know and don't want to plumb the depths to discover that, but I must say that it is ultimately because there is a distortion of their view of themselves, and therefore of others, including me.
How is my view of myself distorted, or how is it accurate and healthy? If I am healthy in my identity, my value and my place in the grand scheme of things, I can be resilient when dealing with difficult energy sappers. If my view of myself is distorted I can be vulnerable or vicious, but probably not balanced and reasonable.
What do you do with these sort of people? How do you overcome, respond or maintain your principles, or your cool, in the face of such energy sappers?
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