Henry Cloud's 10 Tips for 2010, Pt. 1

Dr. Henry Cloud has made a list of 10 things that will set you up well for a new year and a new decade.

" . . . the whole world is reflecting and looking forward. That's a good thing, and hopefully it will be fruitful. Here are a few thoughts for you as you reflect on the last year and look forward to 2010:

1) Start with what you are grateful for in the past year. That will help you put everything in the right context. Even if it was difficult last year, look at what you have to be grateful for. I have a friend who lost a spouse and still said, "As hard as it was, I am so grateful for my friends and family who have been there for me."

2) Spend some time thinking about your vision for the next year. What would you like for it to look like? A good question to ask is "what would have to happen for me, at the end of 2010, to look back and say, "that was a great year?" What key areas would you like to bring to fruition? Relationships? Work? Dreams? Health? Emotional issues? Finances? Get a real picture of what you want it to look like.

3) Now get real serious: look back at those areas and ask yourself: why has that not happened before now? What has gotten in the way that I need to work on? And BEWARE!! If your answer involves “will power” or just "making a commitment," chances are you will do what you always have done. For example, if you are going to lose weight, just deciding to make a commitment and have the will power to exercise, etc. when you have not done that in the past will probably fail. INSTEAD......address your weaknesses that have kept you from succeeding and replace them with strength. If you have not had the will power and discipline to exercise on your own, then join a class that has the structure that you need, or get a buddy system with three or four friends who exercise together at the same times, or get a trainer. BUT do not depend on yourself only as that has not worked and probably won't. If the reason for failure in the past has been lack of knowledge or wisdom or know how, then go find it. Get a coach, a mentor, a class, a therapist, a friend, or someone who knows how to succeed in what you want to do and get help from them. When we don't reach goals or visions usually it is because we just need the right kind of help in one of these areas like motivation, hope, structure (mentioned before) or wisdom. Your answer is not self-help, but finding the right help.

4) Stay involved in the process. Notice I did not say "persevere in your vision," although that is important. What is more important though is to stay connected to the process that you have decided will help you get there….i.e. your group, coach, mentor, therapist, class, etc....the power is in the ongoing process.
Henry Cloud

• The rest will come tomorrow. Letting things simmer, steeping those tea leaves,
mulling things over, chewing thoroughly . . . get the most benefit.

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