I've had several meaningful conversations this week.
Many of them had to do with struggle and growth, struggle and heartache.
A friend lost her husband several weeks ago. Another friend will bury hers on Thursday.
A mother prays for her daughter, another for her son.
One daughter is in an endless seemingly pointless relationship. Another daughter is out of a destructive relationship.
Another young girl was caught texting inappropriately. Another mum worries that her son has no friends and hopes he will text.
A boy didn't do well on a vital exam. A girl was caught cheating.
A daughter is packing to move on campus, her first year at university. Another child is not going back, calling a halt, if not an end, to formal education.
A family moves, again. "Why unpack? Why make friends?"
"Start looking for another job."
A marriage ends. Custody battles loom. Transitions affect everyone, but especially the kids.
An engagement upsets the kids.
"It's too soon!"
"For whom?"
Your insurance is canceled.
A suicide begins another chapter in a struggle a family has with a beloved child.
What could anyone have done differently?
My readings in Joan Chittister's book, Scarred by Strggle, Transformed by Hope, and a conversation amongst some ladies tonight brought out the fact that change happens and we often do not embrace it.
"We cannot not change," Chittister says. If we resist change, we risk "becoming spiritual corpses of a creative God who goes on endlessly creating, in as well as around us." Now not everyone would consider all of the above scenerios as creative. In the midst of uncomfortable situations, we often think someone is conspiring against us for destructive, not constructive, ends.
Yet, what usually causes us to JUMP out of the nest or the boat or the familiar comfy zone we've loved if not some discomfort?
Change we initiate is often change we are comfortable with. It might be calculated, planned for and strategic. Change thrust upon us by unforeseen circumstances or by the choices of others is often change we resist or resent.
Negotiating the road ahead, whether as a parent, a spouse or a young person, is not easy. Sometimes the very road seems to change, destinations become fuzzy illusions and disappointments dog our steps. Is growth, wisdom, maturity worth the struggle, the journey, the feeble steps ahead into uncharted territory?
Octavio Paz said, "Wisdom lies neither in fixity nor in change, but in the dialectic between the two." Times, London, 8 June 1989
Jesus said, "I will never leave you nor forsake you." Sometimes a companion on the journey makes all the difference and the conversation that much richer.
Many of them had to do with struggle and growth, struggle and heartache.
A friend lost her husband several weeks ago. Another friend will bury hers on Thursday.
A mother prays for her daughter, another for her son.
One daughter is in an endless seemingly pointless relationship. Another daughter is out of a destructive relationship.
Another young girl was caught texting inappropriately. Another mum worries that her son has no friends and hopes he will text.
A boy didn't do well on a vital exam. A girl was caught cheating.
A daughter is packing to move on campus, her first year at university. Another child is not going back, calling a halt, if not an end, to formal education.
A family moves, again. "Why unpack? Why make friends?"
"Start looking for another job."
A marriage ends. Custody battles loom. Transitions affect everyone, but especially the kids.
An engagement upsets the kids.
"It's too soon!"
"For whom?"
Your insurance is canceled.
A suicide begins another chapter in a struggle a family has with a beloved child.
What could anyone have done differently?
My readings in Joan Chittister's book, Scarred by Strggle, Transformed by Hope, and a conversation amongst some ladies tonight brought out the fact that change happens and we often do not embrace it.
"A living thing is distinguished from a dead thing by the multiplicity of the changes
at any moment taking place in it." Herbert Spencer, Principles of Biology (1865).
at any moment taking place in it." Herbert Spencer, Principles of Biology (1865).
"We cannot not change," Chittister says. If we resist change, we risk "becoming spiritual corpses of a creative God who goes on endlessly creating, in as well as around us." Now not everyone would consider all of the above scenerios as creative. In the midst of uncomfortable situations, we often think someone is conspiring against us for destructive, not constructive, ends.
Yet, what usually causes us to JUMP out of the nest or the boat or the familiar comfy zone we've loved if not some discomfort?
Change we initiate is often change we are comfortable with. It might be calculated, planned for and strategic. Change thrust upon us by unforeseen circumstances or by the choices of others is often change we resist or resent.
Negotiating the road ahead, whether as a parent, a spouse or a young person, is not easy. Sometimes the very road seems to change, destinations become fuzzy illusions and disappointments dog our steps. Is growth, wisdom, maturity worth the struggle, the journey, the feeble steps ahead into uncharted territory?
Octavio Paz said, "Wisdom lies neither in fixity nor in change, but in the dialectic between the two." Times, London, 8 June 1989
Jesus said, "I will never leave you nor forsake you." Sometimes a companion on the journey makes all the difference and the conversation that much richer.
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