15 August 2008

Inconsistent in integrity

I speak often of integrity.

I think I lack integrity in doing so.

I have heaps of ideals,
but I'm inconsistent in living them out,
in realising them in everyday situations.

I say that I celebrate grace, gratitude and generosity.

Gotta ask it!
Am I gracious?
Only to a point.
Then I get all these conflicting messages in my head and I ge confused!

Am I grateful?
Well, sometimes, but real gratitude is more than a glib "thank you".
Real gratitude would result in no complaints, no half-empty cup, no sighs of dissatisfaction.

I'm often a cranky so-and-so in whome no one would easily see gratitude!

Am I generous, of spirit?
Do I give the benefit of the doubt and not judge when someone does something differently than I would or when I could possibly have misunderstood them?

It's easy to talk of love and generosity and grace.

The only thing in which I am consistent is my inconsistencies.

Thus the need for continual conversion, for continual renewal, for continual reflection on Christ and my need for Him. I if could do it on my own, I wouldn't need Him, now would I?

1 Corinthians 13, NLT

1 If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing. 3 If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it;but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing.
4 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5 or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. 6 It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. 7 Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

1 comment:

LS said...

Amen Sister! I'm right there with you!