14 September 2008

Dysfunctional disciples

Another write up about Outrageous Fortunes:

As you read it, think how things might go differently if Jesus were to have a casual introduction to this guy and they were to become friends.

Wouldn't you like to be a mouse under the table at those conversations!

WESTIE DUDE IS ONE HALF OF A SET OF IDENTICAL TWINS WHICH IS WEIRD BECAUSE HE IS NOTHING LIKE HIS SMART LAWYER BROTHER POSSIBLY AS A RESULT OF A HIDE AND SEEK ACCIDENT WHERE HE GOT TRAPPED IN A FREEZER AS A CHILD LEAVING HIM A FEW SAMMIES SHORT OF A PICNIC WHICH EXPLAINS WHY HE STOLE A PRICELESS MING VASE FROM A TRIAD AND SMASHED IT THINKING IT HAD TREASURE INSIDE AND TO AVOID GETTING KILLED HE WENT TO WORK FOR THE TRIAD AT HIS HOUSE AS A POOL BOY WHERE HE KNOCKS UP HIS WIFE AND BONKS HIS DAUGHTER WHOM HIS TWIN BROTHER BEDDED FIRST PRETENDING TO BE HIM WHICH BROUGHT BACK MEMORIES OF THEIR EIGHTEENTH BIRTHDAY PARTY WHERE HIS BROTHER DEFLOWERED THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE IN THE SAME WAY BREAKING HER HEART AND CAUSING HER TO RUN OFF AND BECOME A SLAPPER IN A BIKER GANG WHICH WAS A SURPRISE TO HIM YEARS LATER WHEN HE SAW HER ENTERED IN A COMPETITION FOR HIS MUM’S LINGERIE BUSINESS WHERE THEIR LOVE WAS REKINDLED BUT THEY DIDN’T LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER AS SHE WAS KILLED IN A MOTORCYCLE ACCIDENT WHICH SENT HIM INTO A TAILSPIN BUMPING UGLIES WITH HIS BEST MATE’S ALCOHOLIC MUM WHICH CAUSED THEM TO NOT BE BEST FRIENDS BUT THEN THEY HAD SOME PSYCHEDELIC PUHA AND EVERYTHING WAS SWEET AND HE AGREED TO BE BEST MAN AT HIS WEDDING BUT DIDN’T MAKE IT AS HE HAD TO DELIVER HIS TEENAGE SISTER’S BABY IN HER BATHROOM.

Some people might be offended by the language or crudeness of writing. I'm more offended that some who say they follow Jesus would tend to avoid this guy rather than befriend him.

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