01 September 2010

Single, & Living a Rich & Full Life.

Every now and then a friend will say, "I wish I had your freedom again."
It has happened numerous times, coming from different friends, but a discussion often ensues as to the pro's and con's of being married or single. I usually respond with, you'd like my life for a day, and then you'd want your family back."
Sometimes they go away unconvinced. s-i-g-h

There are pro's and con's to lots of situations we find ourselves in. It's good to be objective, though when we discuss marriage, emotions often lead the way.

Then there's sex.
I hear that good sex can be really good. I've also been told that the physical side of marriage is only a fraction of the the whole, so fixating on that can be a huge disappointment, or burden. If the other 167 hours of each week is not good, then you're in for a long and difficult life.

Some of you are laughing at me right about now, and I don't mind at all.

  • One, I can't hear you.
  • Two, this is my blog. If you have a different viewpoint, please comment below or start your own blog.
  • Three, I'm single and like it, though if Prince Charming were to introduce himself to me tomorrow I'd probably have less time for blogging.
Can you believe people even get me in to talk to groups about these kinds things? Single at 48 and they reckon I'm an expert! Funny thing is, though I often forget to laugh, is that sometimes the focus is on my singleness and not on the expertise I've developed over the years in other competencies that I'd much rather speak about! Anyway, I started this topic today, so I'll continue.

I have less money, but total control over what I have. Well, except for the bills that expect to be paid each month, much as anyone would have. I can conserve in certain areas, without inconveniencing someone else, so I can splurge elsewhere of my own choosing.

I have more time and the freedom to do what I want with it. I could take up the violin or breed spiders and no one would be put out much. Outside of reasonable expectations from those with whom I work, I can then come and go as I wish.

I can stay up late and read or . . . oh, but wait, I have married friends who compromise and it works for them.

I have more time for my work and never have to pick disgusting things off my pizza because he ordered his favourite. My tools and scissors are usually where I left them. If anyone left the chip packet open to let them get stale, it was probably me. And I have no one else to blame for eating that last piece of cake.

I don't have to put up with anyone else's annoying habits, nor do they have to put up with mine. On the other hand, I'll bet sharing life with someone would smooth off some of my rough edges.

Independence is a wonderful freedom, and can be a bit lonely sometimes. Emotionally I'm more stable than if I lived with someone who was the rollercoaster type. And then there's that whole dating stage where too much guessing often takes place, if I remember rightly. It's been a while.

While I can often find enjoyable companionship amongst my friends, shared memories over time would be a good part of being married. That is one thing I think about when I plan a vacation or holiday. Being single, I can go anywhere I want and do whatever it is I want to. I like to snorkel. What if I was married to a guy who got seasick or who preferred to catch the fish and eat them!?

Oh, it's really 6-to-one and half-a-dozen to the other. We often see the best of what we don't have and long for that. The grass is not always greener over there, so, curious as I am by nature, I'll just live gratefully and see what happens.

I wrote this as it came out with little editing. If you're offended because I've misrepresented something, it was probably because I forgot to take your marriage in to account. I wasn't talking about you you're lovely spouse, but click on comments and clarify where I've glossed over.

This may be one of those blog posts that comes back to haunt me one day. They say someone is storing everything we put on the internet and it can be accessed by future employers, the CIA and Prince Charming!

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